Ad-lib: May the rap gods have mercy on your career if you do not have an ad-lib—O God. They are nothing new to the rap world—Wooooooooo, but what is Big Sean without “Swerve”? Gucci Mane without “Burr”? Or even Lil B without “Swag”? Nothing. These men are nothing and rap would be nothing!
Cloud Rap: Like a Middle Schooler whose role model was Ricky Williams; who then disavowed this part of their life and Williams once he left the NFL. Rap music got its Chillwave, but it was no Chillwave.
Crew: They are the guys taking up 90% of the stage at a rap crew. They are the guys smoking and eating away at a rapper’s recently signed million dollar deal. And they are most certainly not going to help someone is a strip club fight.
Director: Based on watching of MTV Jams the people that still receive this title are Benny Boom, Hype Williams and the unfortunate weed carrier whose phone records in HD.
Engineer: Unless it is Waka Flocka Flame shouting out to KY Engineering, one should assume a song is not engineered beyond making the vocal track louder than the instrumental.
Hipster Rap: Do you remember when Asher Roth, Wale and Kid Cudi were gonna bring a new wave of rap music? #HAUHHAUHHAUH
Internet Rapper: An outdated pejorative term to describe a rapper whose fan base is mostly based on internet networking.
Nu-New York Rap: A$AP Mob, Joey Bada$$ and Pro Era, the former members of Das Racist, Action Bronson, Mr. Mafublahblah, etc…actually just look at the people on “1 Train” and “Huzzah (Remix)”. You can throw in Danny Brown and K.R.I.T. as well, even if they aren’t New Yorkers.
Major Label: A magical lottery system, which chooses based on rappers most likely to appear on a Complex cover and gives them a couple million dollars for laughs.
Molly: How you popped a Molly? Have been you sweating? Are you yelling “Wooooo” randomly during the day? If you don’t have a couple million dollar Def Jam contract, then please apply for this upcoming episode of MTV’s “True Life: I’m Hooked on Molly”.
Producer: The guy that makes the most important part of a rap song outside of the ad-libs and hooks. They primarily identified by their sound drop when someone was too high to properly tag the MP3s.
Rap Manager: They were your favorite rap blogger in 2010 and now they pushed music to your favorite music blogger in 2012.
Ratchet: Wikipedia page still pending: Less “real” than “Jerkin” Music. Less real than Hyphy. But, somehow gonna be the most popular. *Mind Gone*
Soundcloud Producer: “Influences: Weed, Music, Sex and DJ Screw”
Trap (Rap Music): “Chevy the same color of Tropicana orange juice”
“Trap”: “White People”. *drops mic*
Tumblr Rapper: 2010, they sounded like Lil B. 2011, they sounded like Odd Future. 2012, they sounded liked ASAP Rocky. 2013 *Rap music implodes*
Well, I hope you had a good 2012 and if not here’s to a better 2013.
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